Tag Archives: school holidays

I am not an ice-cream thief

Bonnie checks for lick marks on her ice-cream

IT’S been lovely weather, and therefore the kids have been begging even more fervently than usual for ice cream.

At our old address, the dulcet tones of the Gallones’ van used to be a regular pain in the bum, as the van would draw up practically outside our house, just before tea, sending the boys into a frenzy of mostly unsuccessful begging.

You’d think you’d be safe from pester power while walking across the grassy Racecourse, but no.

During our latest efforts to coax our cycle-phobic seven-year-old around on his bike, Bonnie, aged three, suddenly took off, running in the direction of an ice-cream van which had emerged bumpily across the field.

All concentration on the cycling task was lost. Eldest son Jed begged some cash from his Dad and sprinted after his surprisingly fast sister.

Saintly old me, on an eternal (failing) diet, didn’t have one.

But when Bonnie has a 99, you’ve got to be quick to make sure it doesn’t all end up down her front.

Which means regular cone-policing.

Which may involve Mummy being forced to lick around the edges to stop it dripping.

Which of course, is just the moment when glaring strangers walk past, who assume, fatty, that you’ve stolen your whining toddler’s ice-cream. . .

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School holidays: Only two days down, 17 to go . . .

Take four children aged between 13 and three. Entertain for two weeks. Your time starts . . . now!

Monday: Take car to garage, dramatically reducing options.
Make older children cycle to orthodonist to get brace re-attached.
Walk younger two up to municipal baths which everyone has been nagging to go to for months. Meet elder two at baths. Pay £15. Within 20 minutes all but one of them is complaining of being bored.

Tuesday: Make picnic. Head to park. Realise it’s not that warm when sun goes behind clouds. Eat. Play football. Bounce on inflatable green cow. Realise Son 2 is playing football in socks and won’t wear trainers “cos they don’t fit.”
Drive to town to buy new trainers. End up buying fours pairs of shoes, three pairs of kid shorts, kid PJs, kid dress, three kid t-shirts, dress I’ll probably never wear. (All in the sales).  Go home. Feel skint.

Wednesday: Cleaning house today. They ain’t gonna like it.

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Her quads have a mind of their own

WE’RE ending that tricky fourth week of school holidays. The family holiday is over, the playschemes have moved on and video games have been played to their conclusions.

The weather is unpredictable and the inmates are restless and bored. How do we all keep our sanity?

In an effort to get some daily fresh air and much-needed exercise, we’ve started running. . . I know, it sounds bonkers.

But this isn’t running in some hearty, healthy, all-together- Swiss Family Robinson-type way. No, this is 20 minutes up at the Racecourse, either me and one of the boys, or Bloke and one of the boys.

And when I say running, it’s more like they run, and we stumble, half-jog, walk and collapse. Frankly, it’s been a bit embarrassing. The boys skip round our circuit barely breaking sweat. Meanwhile, I’m left hobbling behind, wheezing and purple-faced. After two days my thigh muscles felt they’d become detached from my legs and I couldn’t climb out of bed.

Needless to say, the kids quite like this daily ritual humiliation of their parents and we can’t face being the ones to give up first. Oh God, please make the aching stop soon. . .

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