Take four children aged between 13 and three. Entertain for two weeks. Your time starts . . . now!
Monday: Take car to garage, dramatically reducing options.
Make older children cycle to orthodonist to get brace re-attached.
Walk younger two up to municipal baths which everyone has been nagging to go to for months. Meet elder two at baths. Pay £15. Within 20 minutes all but one of them is complaining of being bored.
Tuesday: Make picnic. Head to park. Realise it’s not that warm when sun goes behind clouds. Eat. Play football. Bounce on inflatable green cow. Realise Son 2 is playing football in socks and won’t wear trainers “cos they don’t fit.”
Drive to town to buy new trainers. End up buying fours pairs of shoes, three pairs of kid shorts, kid PJs, kid dress, three kid t-shirts, dress I’ll probably never wear. (All in the sales). Go home. Feel skint.
Wednesday: Cleaning house today. They ain’t gonna like it.