CLICK off the page now if you don’t want to hear about my internal organs. *Checks to see if they’ve gone*
Right. Some serious advice for mothers, mothers-to-be and even those thinking about sprogging.
Having kids messes up your body.
Maybe not straight away, maybe not even for a few years. But eventually, after all that carting about of small human beings inside and out, your body conks out.
It might be a touch of repeated sciatica, where a trapped nerve renders you in immovable agony. It may be just saggy skin that just hasn’t the elasticity of youth to ping back into place regardless of how much you exercise.
Or it may be that your internal organs start giving into gravity and heading south.
Yes, I am talking about the huge but hardly discussed problem of stress incontinence.
I am hardly proud, and not at all amused, about having to go to the doctors because I can’t jump up and down, skip or play Kinect sports without worrying I might have a little involuntary wee.
I can’t be at the allotment for more than an hour without my brain/bladder teaming up to make me believe I need to pee so urgently I may need to discreetly use my daughter’s car potty.
It’s the kids nagging me to go to the loo before we leave the house: “Mum, have you been? We won’t be stopping again for a while. . .”
I’d ignored the pelvic floor exercises warning after giving birth 13 years ago, and when I got a cold, I got more than just a runny nose.
Three more pregnancies and I won the pelvic floor battle. I could clench for England.
But three years on it seems the ground floor is heading for the basement.
Intensive pelvic floor exercises have been prescribed – two sets, six times a day – and surgery has been threatened. Six times a day? It’s hard to remember to do them.
If you are one of the millions of mothers who has to plan their journeys around toilet stops for themselves, rather than their kids, stop blaming it on your age. Get thee to a doctor while they can still do something to help.