Tag Archives: school holidays

Don’t hate me, but the NSB waiting list has come up trumps

IT was Dougie who brought me The Letter. Our second son, proffering the manilla envelope with a Northampton School for Boys franking mark. His school.

With just a week left before the summer holidays, he wondered if he was in trouble.

As previously detailed in these columns, we have three sons in three different schools around Northampton.

Our first-born, Jed, didn’t get his first choice of the ridiculously oversubscribed school for boys, and has attended Malcolm Arnold Academy-nee-Unity-nee-Trinity for the past two years.

Much to our surprise, Dougie, a year younger, did get into NSB, where he has spent the first year of his secondary education happily knee-deep in sport, more sport, testosterone and sport.

Meanwhile seven-year-old Billy is endeavouring to make his own mark, noisily, at the large urban primary school his two brothers attended before him.

Back to the letter: it wasn’t about Dougie – it was about Jed. It was offering him a Year 9 place at NSB to start in September as two boys in his age group have left.

To say it’s come as a shock is an understatement. We’d applied two years ago, and along with hundreds of other parents, had failed to get a place. We’d appealed, and while 11 appeals had been successful, ours hadn’t.

We were told we could join a waiting list, but warned that the likelihood a place coming up was very remote. Indeed we reasoned that having been forced to take 11 more pupils in than they wanted, the chances of a place becoming available was about as likely as Jeremy Clarkson buying an electric car and joining the Green Party.

Stubbornly, I put him on the waiting list anyway.

And then last week The Letter arrived.

Jed was understandably conflicted. Having settled well at MAA, made friends, worked out which teachers he liked, been given opportunities to tour the Olympic Park, have lunch with Boris Johnson, act as a mock lawyer in a real magistrates court, play bass guitar, argue politics with Tory sponsor David Ross and talk on the radio about his experiences of the new academy, he was now going to have to decide if he wanted to leave, at age 13. We told him to sleep on it.

It was Dougie who volunteered the first advice. Dougie, 12, who has spent his entire life being known as ‘Jed’s brother,’ who was pleased to be at NSB without his older sibling.

“You should take it,” he said. “Think of the sport. Think how mad you get when you can’t do the sport you want at MA. . . Plus I want everyone to refer to you as ‘Dougie’s brother.’”

We discussed the pros and cons of each school. And although he was grateful for those friends and teachers who’d encouraged him at MA, and would certainly miss having girls around, he was resolute: NSB had been his first choice school.

Their facilities, like it or not, are amazing and the standard of teaching is proven. The range of subjects offered at GCSE is wider and the discipline strict. We agreed that while we felt disloyal, MA still needed a few more years to settle and that NSB could simply offer Jed more now.

I have spent the last week feeling guilty at our luck. I’ve so many friends whose sons also didn’t get in, and have spent hours, and plenty of column inches, raging about the unfairness of NSBs refusal to have a catchment area. I still stand by that opinion. If fewer boys were being bused in from Bedford, Brackley, Oundle and upmarket villages, there would be more places for boys who actually live in and around Northampton. It is, after all, NORTHAMPTON School for Boys.

Ultimately, however much we want all schools to have the same facilities as NSB, making ‘parental choice’ a redundant concept, they don’t.

We don’t even know if we’ve done the right thing. You take the best chances you can for your children and hope it all works out in the end.

One thing I will miss though: Malcolm Arnold’s uniform is far nicer than NSB’s.

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Strike day can end up costing more than you think

WHAT did you do about strike day then? Take a day’s holiday or ring in sick? Go to work as usual and leave the kid/s with relatives? Take a day off unpaid? Go to work and pay £20+ for childcare?

In fact, wasn’t it much like one of many teacher training days, when we have to run around trying to work out where to put everyone?

It was only seven-year-old Billy who found himself with a random day off in our house. Bonnie went to
nursery, and Jed and Dougie’s two secondary schools didn’t close, much to their disgust.

It wasn’t half as dramatic as the school strikes I remember in the 1980s. Back then the strikes were frequent, sometimes three days on the trot, occasionally half-days (which meant a full-day if you lived out in the sticks and had an hour-long bus journey each way) and often random.

For example, I remember not being able to do any sporting competitions or training at a point when I was Sport-Billy-Hilly, because the teachers wouldn’t supervise any extra-curricular activities. Maddening.

The strikes dragged on and the teachers lost a lot of public sympathy, but the Teachers Pay and Conditions Act was passed in 1987, paving the way for a lot of the deals that today’s teachers wouldn’t have otherwise had.

So do strikes work? Yes, maybe, sometimes, but not without a great deal of public discontent, often fuelled by misinformation.

Meanwhile, away from the moaning placard waving educators and whining envy of private sector workers, I took a day off and Bill and I formed a plan for what we would do with our day alone together, a rare event. Any suggestions had to involve leaving the house.

Go to a toy shop?” he asked, hopefully.
No. It would be better still if you think of something that doesn’t cost any money.

Erm . . . go to the cinema?”

Eventually, after much negotiation, we ended up at, er, the shops.

I know, I know, but Billy wanted to use his own pocket-money to buy some weird wristband things that he’s seen his older brothers wearing. After his cash ran out I needed a coffee and somehow ended up with milkshakes and cake and a £10 bill from the aptly named Costa. Ouch.

Then we found a huge sale on at Blacks and I bought far too many pairs of shoes for the men and boys of the house (although more than half price). Double ouch.

MacDonalds a ‘treat’? Makes your kids look weird

And with only a short time before Bonnie needed collecting from nursery, we had an emergency stop at MacDonalds.

I should point out here that any time we eat at MacDonalds it is because it’s an emergency (ie, we have run out of time to eat anywhere else).

I have the middle class paranoia that if I feed my offspring MacDonalds I am a Bad Parent. I refuse to call it a ‘treat’ because it’s just not.

I stubbornly boycotted MacDonalds for 12 years, until Bloke and I were stranded on holiday in France and the only place open to feed our squawking toddlers was La Maison de MacDonalds. It pains me to admit it was a delicious breakfast.

From that point on I felt a complete hypocrite. Especially as it was usually my bad parenting which literally drove us back time and again for Happy Meals (and fresh coffee) that you don’t even have to get out of the car for. MacDonalds is Prozac for the disorganised.

Billy and I did have a lovely, materialistic and expensive day together,which he was quite happy ended with wrist-bands, burger and chips and a weird Panda mask.
Next time though, it will be cheaper to pay for the childcare. . .

 

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Why our family gave up on Glastonbury

HOW many of us watching the annual Glastonbury mudfest were thinking, actually, I’m quite happy seeing it from the sofa, thanks?

That’s quite hard for some of us to admit. Bloke and I were regular Glasto-goers in our pre-parenting years, but have only been once since.

And it’s not one I’d go to again with the kids.

Something about seeing those pictures of muddy, knackered-out little urchins being dragged around by adults either DETERMINED to have a good time, or looking as though they were about to cry, just made me think, take them home, have a bath, watch the rest on TV. Leave them with Grandma next time.

The Glastonbury site is just vast. Nothing you see on telly can actually make you understand how exhausting and confusing it can be if you’re a grown-up and relatively sober, let alone a kid. Even in good weather.
I think the next Glastonbury-goers from our house are more likely to be our elder two boys, and even then I’m thinking “not until you’re 18.” The idea terrifies me, but I guess it won’t be long before I don’t have much of a say.

But in the meantime there are festivals that are great to visit with kids, and for the last few years we’ve attended the likes of Womad and the excellent Camp Bestival with the entire brood.

Bonnie had been to three festivals before her third birthday. 

You must bear in mind that going to a festival with family in tow isn’t like going to one on your own, where the only person you’re responsible for is, er, you.
At a family festival you can still enjoy the live acts, the music, the outdoorsy freedom and even a cider or two, and your children can do the same (minus the cider). You let them stay up later than usual and experience music and art in a way that our generation couldn’t.

But you also have to admit that when it’s dark, muddy, chucking down with rain and blowing a gale, its kinder to everyone if you head back to relative safety and comfort of a tent or camper. It might feel defeatist but you’ll be grateful in the morning. Honest.

There’s plenty of firework finales or headline acts we’ve missed because we’ve just bottled it and stayed dry. That’s the beauty of going to a festival over a conventional music gig. If you miss something, you’ll catch something else that’s good too.

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They grow up, they do

IT has been a busy week. As well as sports day, we’ve had two fetes, a cricket tournament, a birthday party invite and a teacher training day.
That’s before we’ve even got to strike day.

Our eldest Jed was off on a day I was covering Cottesbrooke Plant Fair, so much to his disgust, I dragged him along for some work experience.

He, apparently, thought he’d be spending the day ‘planking’ with his mates. Planking is a bizarre fad for getting photographed lying – like a plank – in peculiar locations. Just type it into a computer and you’ll see what I mean.

Jed snaps

I told him planking couldn’t possibly be cool anymore as Gordon Ramsay was seen doing it, so he grumpily accompanied me.

Although he turned out to be a useful photographer, my goodness, he did spend the day grunting. I thought it was a stereotype but bless him, since his voice dropped he has become mumbling monosyllabic in company, and moaned all day about being hungry.

I enjoyed the fact it was just him and me for a rare day, and it reminded me how quickly that little baby in a pram grows up. Even if they still can’t communicate.

Meanwhile, Baby Bonnie has discovered facepaint. I’d managed to avoid it until now but she’s been done twice in a week.

It was easier with the boys. They cottoned on quite quickly that having facepaint means having to have your face scrubbed vigorously with a flannel at the end of the day.

But Bonnie has become fascinated by facepaint, particularly rainbows and butterflies. I’m going to have to make sure all my make-up is well out of her reach.

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How do you get medical glue out of hair?

TOUCH wood, we haven’t had to attend hospital too much over the 13 years we’ve been parents. But Billy managed to end a recent day out with a trip to A&E after bashing his head (we’re still not sure how) and bleeding profusely.

The wailing only really started when tactful Dougie, who ran to his aid, started saying things like: “Cor, there’s loads of blood, look, it’s really bleeding, he’s got blood all over him, it’s gushing . . .”

Once we, and some helpful fellow parents, had managed to calm him down and stem the flow, we tried to work our way through his matted hair to find out how bad/deep the cut was. It was only about an inch and a half, but looked like it might need a stitch (we mimed this idea to each other out of his eye-sight so’s not to start him wailing again).

We headed for MIMIU, the minor injuries and minor illness unit on Cliftonville Road in
Northampton. It was a Sunday, we thought we were doing the right thing, but apparently not.

After a bizarre one-way conversation with the receptionist (I talked, she typed) we deduced that you are supposed to ring ahead or get referred by your GP. A passing medic stopped to examine Billy’s cut an agree that it did closing with medical glue, and asked the same receptionist to find out if the nursing staff had any. The minor injuries unit didn’t necessarily have the right kit to fix a cut!

A further bizarre wait while the receptionist emailed the unseen nurses, then explained she
then had to wait for them to see the emails and reply. No phones or feet in use then?

Cricket boy

Inevitably, we were sent up to the main A&E department. Thankfully Bloke had waited with
the other kids in the car or it would have been a long walk. A&E booked him in, assessed him, sent us to a play area and patched him up, all in half an hour.

Billy’s cut paled into insignificance when I was talking to a fellow mum, whose toddler daughter had run into a heavy chair and needed several stitches in her forehead, under general anaesthetic. Billy was lucky.

A week later, with no proper hair wash, Bill’s bonce seems to have healed. But please, how on earth do you get a big clump of medical superglue out of hair?

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Heartsick for the seaside

DAUGHTER, aged three, is crying loudly, and refusing to get in the car without a fuss.

I want the sea,” she wails. “Don’t want to go home, want the sea.”

We can’t take the sea with us,” I explain, “the sea lives here and we live. . . (in my head I say “about as far away is it’s possible to be from the sea”) . . in Northampton. You like Northampton, it’s where your toys are.”

She buries her face in my shoulder, still weeping, but grudgingly allowing the sand to be brushed from her feet. I know how she feels.

If you’ve grown up near the seaside, and then left for pastures not-so-green, you may also get an overwhelming sense of glee when the opportunity arises to get some sand between your toes. Beach sand, not the builder-grade,
suspicious-lump-infested sand of a municipal playground. 

We love the sea. Not your foreign holiday beaches (which we haven’t experienced that much), but the often under-rated, sometimes sunny seaside of the North Sea, English Channel and Atlantic coast.  

Even when it’s raining, there’s some deep pleasure for me in standing on a beach, jumping up and down until a pool of water seeps through the sand. Staring out over a vast horizon, squinting at boats and endless, repetitive
waves. Not so much of that when you have four children in tow though.

Over half term we visited my parents who live just outside Newcastle, where they returned to in retirement after 30-odd years living in Devon. Each time we visit, we go to the sandy beaches at Tynemouth, Cullercoats and Whitley Bay.

Beaches? In Newcastle? I hear your skepticism. But these are beautiful places, they Hoover the beaches each morning with great big machines. The council flowerbeds were full and well-tended. The sea, despite being around the corner from a major port, is crystal clear.

We went for three days, and two of those we spent at the beach. One day was windy, and we went rock-pooling with nets at St Mary’s lighthouse, then had tea and cake at the Rendezvous Cafe, a 1930s icon, hardly altered in decades,
which has massive windows looking out to sea.

The following day, when we were meant to be driving home, it was scorching and we couldn’t resist going for a paddle. Bonnie insisted on wearing her swimsuit and it seemed her complete joy made her immune to the chilly water.
Despite the sun, and the half-term, and the provision of lifeguards, it was hardly busy. It was bliss.

Billy dug holes. Jed and Dougie kicked a football about, skimmed stones, threw wet seaweed at each other and dug more holes. Bonnie and I paddled, paddled some more, and buried our feet. Only the inevitable five-hour drive home could drag us away.

If you usually use your family holidays to jet abroad, and think that the British seaside is just pebbles, tacky arcades and run-down guest-houses, you’re missing out. Forget Newquay and Blackpool, look at Widemouth Bay, near Bude, on the Devon/Cornwall border, Putsborough, Croyde and Instow in North Devon, Old Hunstanton and Heacham in Norfolk or Studland Bay in
Dorset (though Dorset is getting Londonified).

Accept that your car is going to get filled with sand, pebbles, bits of seaweed  and possibly dead crabs. Pack a few old towels, some suncream, spare clothes  and shoes and download a tide-times app on your smartphone. Enjoy what being an island truly offers us – the seaside – even if living in Northamptonshire does mean it takes hours to get there . . .

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My little sew and sews

YOU can tell it’s getting towards the end of term in our house when the sewing kit comes out. I say ‘sewing kit,’ but I actually mean a reel of black cotton with a needle stuck in it. We might also have a spool of white, somewhere. Despite being descended from good Northern stock for whom sewing and knitting seems am effortless joy, I’m not one of life’s darners. However, when you have three sons who play football on Tarmac playgrounds, and school trousers cost around £14 a pop for the older boys, it can get expensive. First it’s the hems that go, usually in the first couple of months. I sew them up, usually too tightly, giving a slightly ruched look. Then it’s the knees. I’m not great at patching worn holes, but I can handle a clean tear. And I even sewed myself a pouch on a string to hold my stupid new mobile phone for when I don’t have pockets. Usually, you have to buy a few ‘official’ items like sweatshirts, blazers and sports kit from the school, and then can buy generic trousers, shirts, polos, dresses, skirts and shoes. Back in September, our eldest, Jed, was given his blazer, tank-top, tie and sports kit as part of the deal to turn his school into an academy. The blazer seemed big on him then, and I hoped it would last a couple of years. But already the sleeves have started to look too short. He’s on his second pair of shoes (third if you count the black trainers he borrowed from his brother to tide him over until the Easter holidays). He came home last week with a massive tear in the backside of his only school trousers (two pairs bought, one lost). “I was playing football at break and I stuck my leg out too far. It was embarrassing, as a load of girls were standing behind me, if that’s any consolation” Two days later Dougie, whose official uniform cost £100 back in September, rang me after school. “Can you pick me up? I’ve got a big hole in my trousers. I’ve had to put my sports shorts on underneath.” Yes, he too was playing football at breaktime. The elder boys’ trousers were split on the seam, so were easy enough to sew up. Double stitched. Not neat, but hopefully strong enough to last them for the last few weeks before summer. As I was sorting the washing at the weekend, I found Billy’s school trousers. They have a hole in the knee. Probably from football. I’m not good with holes. I’m sure he won’t mind doing the last half term in shorts. . ?

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A belated Royal Wedding post . . .

BONNIE was completely baffled by the Royal Wedding. But she liked being allowed to wear an array of princess dresses for a week.

She particularly liked the commemorative mug she was given by her nursery during three days of garden parties, crown-making and dressing-up. A nice touch, I thought, by her nursery, whose manager Debbie Hasson wanted the kids to have something as a keepsake like we parents had been given 30 years ago (my mother is the Keeper of the Mugs, including one for Charles and Di and the Silver Jubilee in 1977).

On the actual day of the wedding, our kids weren’t really in the mood to sit in front of the telly and watch some people they didn’t know get married.

But we made them anyway, muttering words like “history” and “day-off” at them.

They turned off the Xbox at 10.45am and within about 15 minutes, seven-year old Billy had taken himself off to bed with a high temperature and sore throat, missing the whole thing completely.

Bonnie kept changing her outfits like a demented Oscar-night hostess – starting with Cinderella’s Princess outfit and alternating it with Tinkerbell’s dress and a sparkly white fairy number. To Bonnie, the words “Princess” and “Fairy” are inseparable. I think she was disappointed that Kate didn’t sprout wings and fly off over Buck Palace.

No Boden-Yummy-Mummy-led street party for us. Far too disorganised. Instead we fed them sandwiches and strawberries and the remains of their Easter egg stash. By 2pm, the TV was back to shooting aliens and we returned to the mundane activities of a bank-holiday – a spot of housework and fixing broken things.

It will be years before they have another Royal Wedding holiday, but the next Bank Holiday is less than a month away, on May 30. We may go out.

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They trashed my house and now I have tip guilt

 THANK goodness. Back to normality. It’s been nice an’ all, but the kids have been at home for 21 of the last 25 days.

They are back to school for 20 days and then off for another week and a day for half term and teacher training. Tough life.

While they have been at home, everything has broken (including my resolve).

To steal the words of the Tall Dad from the TV show The Middle, “The only nice things in our house come here to break.”

The destruction tally over the past month is as follows:

The CD player in the boys’ room. (Wires to speakers inexplicably snapped).

The TV in the boys’ room which only plays DVDs (they put two DVDs in at once and broke the drawer)

An expensive all-wood chest of drawers in the boys’ room (several parts of slammed and over-stuffed drawers have had to be glued and nailed back in place)

My ‘office’ printer, (being used at the time to print out homework)

An Xbox headset (spun about by its wires)

The food processor (OK, so the motor burned out as I was too lazy to knead dough)

Two pairs of sunglasses (must have had faulty legs)

A TV remote (now held together with sticky tape) and

Both our knackered old cars (admittedly, the kids had nothing to do with the cars).

So without even going away anywhere, it’s been an expensive month, especially as the older two seem to go through a week’s worth of food in about a day.

One win though. Someone also broke my battered but beloved old Anglepoise lamp. I thought it was another candidate for the bin but thanks to the Internet, I fixed it by installing a complete new wiring kit bought online. Yes, me. I re-wired it. Even added a new plug.

A small survivor amidst the wreckage of the school holidays.

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Six go to Drayton Manor – to try out Ben 10 coaster

SO how’s it been with the kids for the last fortnight then? Come on, it would have been much worse if the weather hadn’t been so good. It’s been April, for goodness sake.

We managed to get some days off work and tick a few ‘done’ boxes while school was out, including general slobbing and a theme park.

Theme parks can be pretty unbearable and expensive places, and the prepared parent will need to do their homework to avoid any tears, especially their own. Look for vouchers, two-for-ones and pack your own drinks for starters.

We returned, after an absence of several years, to Drayton Manor Theme Park, up the A5 in Staffordshire. It should have taken about an hour to get there, but the weather and hideous traffic jams extended the sweaty car experience to two hours.

We were there for the opening of Ben 10 – Ultimate Mission, a ‘junior’ roller-coaster for anyone over one metre tall.

Ben 10, for the uninitiated, is a TV cartoon character kid, who finds a weird watch called the Omnitrix, which turns him into ten different alien superheroes.

Billy with Ben 10 friends

None of our boys are particularly ‘into’ Ben 10, but Billy, being seven and a boy, hits the target demographic perfectly. Jed and Dougie aren’t sure whether they like scary rides or, like their Dad, they feel no desire whatsoever to go on them, ever.

The ride, for coaster-nerds, is a ‘boomerang’ style, with a spiral thingy in the middle. You get dragged slowly up one side, backwards, then fired at speed through the twisty bit and up the other side. Then you do the same thing, only backwards. You never turn upside down.

Unlike the queue, the ride lasted a grand total of 45 seconds.

Billy was quite pleased with it as it was fast enough to be scary. The elder two said it could have been longer, but thought it was a good first step between a kiddie-coaster and the bigger, more height-restricted rides. (Beware the parent-trap of the strategically-placed Ben 10 shop next door).

To pacify the disgruntled Bonnie, who wasn’t impressed to be told she was too small for some rides, we headed next to Thomas-land, a section of the park devoted to Thomas the Tank Engine. This is truly a hideous experience, where you will find hundreds of literally pushy parents, ramming each other with buggies and forgetting all manners.

The queues were very long, confusing and overlapping, and we waited an hour and half in the sweltering heat for a roller-coaster Bonnie was just tall enough to go on with me, called Troublesome Trucks. It was pretty fast and high enough to scare her on the first circuit, but by the second she was shouting “go again, again!” and refusing to get off.

As well as several rides and play areas, there’s also a new Thomas exhibition set away from the main area where they have sets from the TV series.

Thankfully the boys are well past their Thomas phase and Bonnie could be bribed away with promises of ice-cream and zoo animals.

I always find it a little odd to find a zoo in the middle of a theme park, but it stems back to the 1950s when most parks like these consisted of just a few fairground rides and an animal enclosure. This zoo has plenty of monkeys and penguins, snakes and birds, but Bonnie demanded a tiger and luckily she saw two.

The sun was scorching by now, and we had another hour and a half wait in the heat for the rubber dingy rapids, or Splash Canyon, which we were all able to go on together, but wasn’t really very splashy at all.

Yes, this is a ride

However, after another hour’s wait for the much more scary-looking Stormforce 10 water ride, I thoroughly embarrassed my two eldest sons by producing – and wearing – a waterproof cape. I’d seen just how wet and shivering others had been getting off and wasn’t going to let the matter of looking a prat get in the way of my comfort.

Needless to say, the boys, in jeans, got COMPLETELY drenched, like they’d been dunked in a bath, while I was smug and dry.

Theme park food can be a complete rip-off, but there were pizza/pasta, burger/chicken and a very good pie and mash shop, with meals about £5 per head. The loos are rather aged, and parts of the park are clearly due for a makeover, but they are planning more changes.

One major complaint for Drayton Manor: no wait-time indicators. Most attractions now have these at various points in the queue which helps enormously when you have children who suddenly announce they need the loo. Other than that we all had a really enjoyable, surprisingly row-free day.

And by hanging around until after 5pm, there were no queues at all when Dougie bravely offered to come on the massive Shockwave stand-up roller-coaster with me. Whooo!

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